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20% of the population is
now drinking coffee, 60% is sleeping, 19% is
watching television and one yokel is now holding
his mobile in his hand |
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A woman likes to have four
animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the
doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and
a numbskull to pay for this all. |
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Be friendly with your
kids, they choose your home when you are old! |
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Be nice to the ones who
smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
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Birdy birdy in the sky,
left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't
cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!! |
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Braindetector activated,
calibrating, now searching.........still
searching......get a good grip of your
mobile....still searching.......no brains found. |
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Did I not see you
yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No?
O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! . |
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Do not disturb, I am
enough disturbed as it is . . . |
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A man pays $.2,00 for a
$.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00
for $.2,00 item that she does not need. |
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Excessive use of alcohol
can lead to a pregnancy. |
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For you I would go as far
as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay
here ?" |
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God created the earth, God
created the woods, God created you too, but yes,
even God makes mistakes! |
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HALLO, this is your
mobile. There is no particular problem. I just
wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is
unbearable!!! |
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Hello I am a virus and I
am entering your brain right now..... sorry I
will leave, I can't find a brain. |
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How would you like your
egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or
impregnated? |
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I am a killer, I kill
people for money.....But because you are my
friend,I'll kill you for nothing! |
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I know why I am single, my
parents-in-law were not able to have kids... |
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I like to compare you with
a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour,
perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass
is empty i just take the next one! |
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If being ugly would hurt,
you would be in pain all day long. |
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If you have picture where
you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can
prove that you have not changed a bit. |
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If you really ressemble
the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough
to travel. |
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In case of fire read this
message.....................................I
SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU IDIOT!! |
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Love me or leave me.
Hey,where is everybody going ??? |
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My feelings for you are
like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they
make me sick." |
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My mother in law walks
five miles every day, I wonder where she is at
this moment... |
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One out of four people is
a chinese. If your father, your mother and your
brother are not Chinese, it must be you. |
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Opticians bend your the
rims/frames of your glasses for they are too
polite to say that your ears are in the wrong
place. |
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roses are red, violets are
blue, Frankenstein is ugly but what the hell
happened to you???? |
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Smoking is allowed in this
area, blowing not! |
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The more I learn the more
I get to know, the more I know the more I
forget, the more I forget the less I know, so
why should I be learning?? |
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This cat, is cat, a cat,
good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat,
idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds
cat! Now read it all without the word cat! |
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This is the telephone
terrorist team. While receiving this message a
virus will be activated. This virus should have
infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be
disabled, unless you are ugly. |
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This is your boss: "You
are allowed to read the newspaper during the
working hours and do certainly not miss the job
adds." |
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This sms can only be read
by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you
are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't
force it ugly!!! |
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Those beautiful eyes, that
incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth,
nice smile .... but that is enough about me,
tell me how you are? |
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We cannot grant you a life
insurance policy because you are already 102
years old. "I do not understand. It is proven
statistically that at that age only few people
die." |
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We will now upgrade your brain.......Please
wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still
searching........Sorry, no brain found !!! |
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What he want, I do not
want ... What I want, he does not want ... What
we want, is not allowed! |
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When I was a dog, and you
were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a
shower!! |
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You have the ones that
think and you have the ones that do things. The
worst kind are those who think that they are
doing things. |
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The rain makes all things
beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes
all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you? |